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May 26, 2005

Don't Leave Us, Janice!

Devastated. Just devastated.

Not only will I be deprived for months of a Reality TV show featuring young crazed dumb girls catfighting and spazzing, there will also be no overrated half-plastic brain-damaged bitch there to knock them down a few pegs (via ANTM LJ community). Despite years of drug abuse, Janice Dickinson brings many words of wisdom to a show in much need of it, such as these gems:

  • “You were ‘concentrated’ or ‘constipated’?”
  • “Brittany has more personality than anyone in this entire country!”

  • “Naima, your legs look Gumby!”
  • “I was Versace's muse, I was Azzedine's muse, I was Valentino's muse... ...[to Nolé] I don't know why you're laughing, I don't know whose muse you were!”

And that's just in the final two episodes!

Janice will be on the upcoming season of The Surreal Life, but come on, I'm not going to use valuable bandwidth to download episodes of that. Celebrities don't deserve such torture, no matter how washed up, and audiences don't deserve the torture of watching them.

And because Janice's departure would mean no one to remind Nolé Marin that he's fat and ugly, he's out of the show too.

Seriously, I am concerned that this would make America's Next Top Model a whole lot less entertaining. Well, I guess “seriously” is a bit too strong a word. :P

Looking to the future, Miss J. would be a good (“fierce”?) addition to the judging panel, but I have doubts about Twiggy. Hopefully her unhealthy thin figure back in the day was a sign of a brooding dark spirit that was waiting for the creation of Reality TV to let loose upon this world. Hehe.

Posted by Kelvin at May 26, 2005 11:39 PM

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